Things That Go Bump in the Night

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -Only this, and nothing more.'

The Raven, Edgar Allan Poe

There's my little dinosaur.

There were many a tappings on our door last night as all the ghosts (yes I actually had one come to the door) and goblins came in search of treats.

I'm not sure who had more fun...the kids out trick or treating....

...or the people who were dishing them out.

We went trick or treating with our new next door neighbors Elisabeth, Lilliam and Malva, who just moved here recently from Germany and had never been out trick or treating before... it definitely was a treat to take them out!!
The boys were SO excited, it was hard to keep up with them.
Of course, things are a bit different then when we, as kids, went trick or treating. We couldn't wait because everyone knew us in the neighborhood, and we definitely knew who had the choice treats...like the candied apples and the puff balls dipped in chocolate...those were the days~ One pillow case hardly held it all, what a haul we would take in...my mother would cringe at all the sugar...good times.

We should be good for sweets until Easter to be sure!!!

Swept Away...

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married. One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom. The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely. After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, 'I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!' 'IMPOSSIBLE !' said the groom broom.


Are you ready for this?
Brace yourself; this is going to hurt.


'WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!'


Oh for goodness sake... Laugh, or at least groan.
Life's too short not to enjoy... Even these silly
little cute.....clean jokes



Sounds to me like she's been 'sweeping' around!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is a Test....This is only a Test....

Yes, well, that is what I was saying to myself as I looked into the mailbox to find a letter from the BOMI Institute. It was only a test. If I didn't make the grade I could always re-write...it's no big deal, it happens to alot of people...

And as I was weighing the envelope in my hand, I was thinking to myself, 'Okay, you can do this, you can open the letter and deal with what's inside.'
Hmmmm, maybe I should wait for Mark to get back from Banff....hmmmm, maybe I should wait for his marks to come in the mail and we'll open them together....

Nope. I may have very few virtues....honesty may be one. That being said, I can honestly say that patience is not one of them. So I slowly rip the seal.

83.
83....I let it sink in....wow, I don't have to do a re-write...I am now laughing on the inside.
...and breathing a huge sigh of relief....and thinking that, yes, I'll be able to be reimbursed...
Well, maybe not so much that. Well, yes, that too. Education costs.

I'll sleep well tonite.
Tomorrow nite, I'll be thinking about purchasing the materials needed for the second part of the course that starts in February. I'll be ready.

When to Turn a Blind Eye

Okay Girls, help me out here.
When it comes to being a woman, there is an unspoken bond that you don't let another woman walk around with toilet paper stuck to her shoe...

Such an instance happened to me this weekend as my husband and I were knoshing at Montana's...

This woman walks by, and as she passes me, I notice a piece of toilet paper sticking out of the waistband of her pants! (insert eye roll here)...Does she not realize, I mean, how could she not realize there is a piece of paper stuck to your touche??!!!

So I leave my table, walk over to where she is dining with a friend, put my hand gently on her shoulder and softly say, 'excuse me, but you've got toilet paper stuck on your pants...'

She gasped, and said 'holy crap!!!' (swear to God)... and tried to see behind her.
To which I said, 'no, I don't think there's any crap, but there definitely is toilet paper'....

I thought her friend was going to split a gut!!! true story.

.....and then there's the extreme.
A few weeks ago, a few coworkers and I decided to pub it for lunch.
We grabbed a high table, and off to the right and down a booth were four women having lunch. (I swear that it's my luck this only ever happens to me.) I casually glance over only to realize that one of the women is sitting rather indelicately and showing the entire world what her mamma gave her....oy.

I got up from my chair, took a step towards her table.....
and promptly sat so my back was to her.

I may be a member of the ya-ya sisterhood, but that would have been way above and beyond the call of duty.

A Shot in the Dark

I was watching Rick Mercer's Monday Report (love him) and he did a great spoof of the Health Canada's attempt to vaccinate people for the latest flu shot. Apparently, there's just so many bugs out there, it's pretty difficult to predict which strain will be hitting at what time. It's kind of like a 'thanks for coming out' thing.

The company I work for was giving free flu shots to anyone wanting to be vaccinated. So, being the masochist that I am, I signed up. But as I'm getting jabbed this morning, I can't help but wonder - does this thing really work? I mean, they could probably put sugar water in it and would I really know the difference?

So wanting to know more, I asked the nurse.
Apparently it's a crap shoot....c'mon baby, big bucks no whammies!!!! Seriously. They don't 'know' for sure, they take a best guess....hmmmmm, let's pick this one, and um, this one...ooooo and how bout this one over here??!!

But even though that strain 'might' not be the one hitting when Health Canada thought it would/might, the vaccine that you 'did' get injected with does build up antibodies so it should help. Uh, yeah. Sure.

Imagine that. Our tax dollars at their best.

I think I'll go buy a lotto ticket.

Deep Observations...by Me on Being an Ass

I am responsible, in part, for the way our facility looks inside and out - physically, aesthetically, ergonomically, and so on and so forth...
Things like making sure the cleaners are cleaning properly (which they are), that everyone has the proper tasking chair, that the appliances stay in good working order...you get the idea.

However, some days, like today, I couldn't decide whether or not I was the cigarette nazi...'no smoking for you!!!'

I took the time and ordered these way cool (from a nonsmoker's point of view of course) cigarette receptacles. You see them just about everywhere. I wouldn't think they would be difficult to comprehend. Yet as I walked out of the main entrance, I swear not two feet away from the darn thing on the ground, was a butt...and I don't mean the kind with the crack in it!

I needed to ASSess the situation. I wanted ASSurance that it wouldn't be a consistant problem.

So being the smart ASS that I am (I sense a theme running here), I sent out a blanket email to 'make everyone aware' that they existed and that if they needed a demonstration on how they work, that I would be happy to ASSist. (what can I say, I'm on a roll)....

The majority of Alberta municipalities have gone nonsmoking. Most restaurants, bingoes and even pubs have a no-smoking policy, which as a previous beer slinger can attest, it's nice not having to go home smelling like an ASShtray (sorry, couldn't resist)...

I don't have a problem with people who smoke, but if you're going to, be cognizant enough to have a bit of pride in your place of work...I wouldn't want to ASSume, BUTT I could be mistaken.

...enough of this verbal ASSault. I wonder once my boss reads my email if he'll think I'm still an ASSet...he may not want to ASSociate with me...(LMAO(laugh my ass off))

Yes Dear...

Yes!!! Deer!!!

I love Kananaskis country...it's one of the best places I know to leave the city behind and de-compress.
Mark's out there on a four day conference with his company, so we decided to head out for a sleepover. We had seen deer the evening before and had hoped our luck would again hold.

The Kananaskis Delta Lodge is utterly fabulous. Their staff is friendly and their service is exemplary. I highly recommend this location for anyone wanting to get away, have a romantic weekend, take in a spa, or get closer to the wildlife....like we did.



Nothing works up an appetite quite like getting out and getting some fresh air. We didn't feel much like sitting in the restaurant (especially since Paden's favorite hockey player was about to stick it to his old teammates), so we ordered in. And, the Avalanche defeated the Oilers, so all was well with the world.


Yup! It's a tough life alright...

Shutter Bug

My grandfather on my dad's side was a professional photographer.
I still have that 'gawd awful' baby picture of me in a hideous polkadotted dress....complete in a frame with brass booties. In his defense though, he did do alot of other great stuff!

All of my family love to take pictures. Paden included.


I think he likes taking pictures of himself the best (he's SUCH a Leo)....

But occasionally there are other things.


Like his favorite stuffie...

or a sunny day...



Last nite we wished we would have had our cameras with us...we had just dropped my husband off in Kananaskis where he was on a four day conference, and as we walked outside around the corner from the room to the main lodge, there was a mamma deer and her young one drinking from the pond, not twenty feet away. We stood there for about five minutes while we checked each other out, and then went on their merry way. Truly a magical moment. We're heading out there tonite so Paden can have a sleep over and a swim in the pool.

I'll let you know if we see anything good.

Well Latte Da.

I know this isn't fair to my sister who is absolutely no where near a Starbucks...so I apologize in advance....

I don't consider myself a coffee drinker.
When I was pregnant with Paden I had given it up and never really got the taste for it back again. I'll have an occasional coffee, on a Sunday, with Baileys....mmmm, that's the ticket.

About as wild as I get is a cafe mocha at Tim Hortons...I find most places like Second Cup, Starbucks, Timothy's all brew their coffee to have a taste that's bordering on bitter... and then, oh my!!!! Hello pumpkin spice latte!

This is a great time of the year to indulge in one of those tasty litte treats, it's a little slice of heaven, truly. Thank you Starbucks.

Now I have to dust off the treadmill.....

When is Big Business Too Big?

We were in Leduc over the weekend while Paden went visiting.
It gave us an opportunity to study without the 'guilt factor'...gee I should do the dishes, or gee I should make the bed, or gee I should vaccuum the rugs, or gee I should get dinner started. None of that, which was really quite nice.

One of my favorite spots to eat in Leduc is the Cafe Eden...or should I say - was.
We strolled by thinking it would be great to pop in for dinner but instead we saw a sign on the door that began with, 'It saddens us greatly to inform you that we are closed due to staffing shortages'. Awww...it was one of those sad 'awwws'. This restaurant had been around for twenty years.

Alberta is in in the middle of a huge boom in the economy, so much so that places like the Brick are hiring people from Mexico to fill their warehouse orders, the company I work for has hired Hungarians to help in the manufacturing plant, the oilsands are hiring from all over the world because they can't get enough people to fill the positions - positions that pay pretty darn good.

How can a small business compete with that kind of thing?

Everywhere you go there are signs on sandwich boards attempting to lure staff to their establishments...incentive bonuses at Tim Horton's, free movies for you AND your friends at the cineplex.

How can a small business compete with that kind of thing?
Sadly, they can't.

Middle Finger Monday

I heard this on the radio this morning, and thought how appropo.

I hit the snooze one too many times.
No toilet paper on the roll.
I forgot that Mark would be needing a ride to work (he was at home all last week, studying for his CMA exam, but he would probably have been home anyway since he's a sickie...still.)
Paden was in a snit because he couldn't find the bottoms to his zip shorts and he wanted to wear them since it was going to be warm this afternoon, and no he didn't want to wear the long sleeve shirt, it had to be a very specific short sleeve shirt.
Oy, what a divo.
My dress pants weren't where I expected them to be.
Paden needed to kiss the cat goodbye.
I needed my Design, Operations and Maintence binder so I could study at lunch.
Mark didn't have time to grab a coffee.
Paden didn't want the green apples he wanted the red...and cut it puh-leez.
I didn't have time for breakfast.
Mark had to pack Paden's breakfast.

Leaving 5 minutes late on my end, is like a curling game.
Let me explain.
If you miss the broom on your shot by one inch, that equates to probably two feet down at the other end.
Leaving 5 minutes late on my end, equates to about 15 on the other end.
Leaving 15 minutes late on my end, well you do the math.
Not to mention that I'm pretty sure (at least it felt like it) I hit every red light on the way to work.

Is it Friday yet?

Lawn Leprechauns

Some people have garden gnomes.
Some people have porch monkeys.
I woke up this morning only to realize that I have lawn leprechauns. True Story.

Some time in the wee hours o' the mornin', the leaves on my lawn, as well as all the leaves on the block, mysteriously swept themselves up and deposited themselves into big garbage bags laid out at the street.

Holy o' blarney!!! I sez to meeself.

It must have been quite a few of them stealin' through the dark, because if you look at my previous blahg, you'll see how many leaves there were to pick up...now multiply that by 10!!!

I really would love to know who to thank so I could at least bake them a tray of cookies or something!

God Bless the Wee Folk.
.
.
.
PS...as an addendum to this blahg, we did find out who the culprits were.

They weren't Leprechauns...
They were Anglicans!!!!

The 'Rake and Run' by the youth group at St. James Anglican Church kindly did the neighborhood lawns....guess I'll be baking plenty of cookies!!!

God Bless St. James (which I guess He already did, since he's a saint and all).

Happiness Is....

Happiness is power tools.

Let's face it ladies, our men our lost, nay glazed/dazed while their hands are on a power tool. It doesn't matter what it is really, something plugged in, battery-ized, motorized, something that makes alot of noise, and boom! happy as a clam. It doesn't matter the age either, as you can see from the photo.

How can we compete with that???

We can't. Nor do I want to. Look at that face. Pure joy. Paden says to me, 'look mom, isn't this great!!! We won't actually have to rake the lawn, we can just blow it!!!' How can I even have a comeback for that one? And then my other one, 'Look Honey, we won't have to rake the lawn!!!' Oy.

Does it matter that the lawn will be full of leaves tomorrow? Nope.
Does it matter that they will have to get out and 'blow the lawn' yet again?? Nope.

I think I'll pimp them out to the neighbors... 'blow jobs' for everyone!!! Gosh, did I say that with my outside voice?!...well, you know what I mean. LOL

My Christmas concerns are for naught. Power tools it is.

It don't get much happier than a booty dance!

Props to the Moms

This lady's name is Anita Renfroe I think she's positively frickin' brilliant...

Enjoy, and appreciate all that a Mom does.....in the run of a day :)

They Call it a Slowcooker for a Reason

Another great part about autumn is being able to use the slowcooker.
There's nothing quite like the scent of a roast with all the fixings hitting your nose as you walk in the door. It's a great feeling to know that you don't have to worry about making dinner because, hey!! it's already done....that is, of course, unless you're me.

So I get up early (relatively speaking), slap the roast in the cooker, add some baby carrots, chop up the potato, add some onion soup mix, salt, pepper and put it on low heat since we'll be out of the house all day.

Five o'clock rolls around, I'm checking the snail mail, and thinking oooo, can't wait to knosh in on the roast! Open up the door....wait a second!! No fabulous smell assaulting my senses....what could be wrong????

Which leads me to the punch line.
Slowcooker or slow cooker?
It's not so much the machine as it is the maker.


I forgot to plug it in............................

So Honey, where are we going for dinner???

Deep Observations...by Me on Autumn Leaves

Ah Autumn...my favorite time of the year. Although, I have to say, that it's a bit lacking from the Maritime autumns with the reds of the maples. *sigh*...I get a bit homesick this time each year.

We live in an older neighbor and are blessed/cursed with lovely deciduous trees in our front yard. There's a bit of a curve on our street, so as you come down the block and around the curve, there are beautiful yellow leaves on the road, on the lawn, on the roof.

My next door neighbor, Aaron, who incidentally could also be used as an example in my 'keener' blahg, has already raked his yard once. We came home, looked at his lawn and exclaimed, oh my goodness there's actually green under there!! Aaron, buddy, you're making us all look bad.

Now why is it that the trees that bow above his lawn are naked, while our lawn still being chalk full of leaves, still has every full boughed tree in front of our house?

I believe that Murphy is having a good laugh about this one.

On the upside, there are two tweeners in the neighborhood that are, i'm sure, going to do quite well in business one day because they are making a killing raking the lawns in the neighborhood.

My problem, is that although we raked our lawn last year (multiple times), one of the neighbors did not, and as a result, the leaves all seemed to have migrated to our yard. Go figure.

Ah well, maybe we should try and make some money doing a commercial for 'ParticipAction'.

Leave it to us....hahaha, get it?....leave it?.....I crack me up!